Annoyance Level: Mosquito

Monkey Butt seemingly lives to annoy me to tears.  When he’s not teasing or poking me, he has discovered a new tactic, singing at the top of his lungs 5 yr old style.  His song of choice: THE BATTLE OF NEW ORLEANS…. Unfortunately he doesn’t remember all of the lyrics so his scrambled version goes a little like this:

In 1814 we took a little trip
Along with Colonel Jackson down the mighty Mississip.
We took a little bacon and we took a little beans
And we caught the bloody British in the town of New Orleans.

Yeah, they ran through the briars and they ran through the brambles
And they ran through the bushes where a rabbit couldn’t go.
They ran so fast that the hounds couldn’t catch ‘em
Down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.

We fired our guns and the British kept a’comin.
There wasn’t nigh as many as there was a while ago.
We fired once more and they began to runnin’ on
Down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.

Not Your Angel of the Morning

Monkey Butt is mad at me.  What else is new, right?  But this time, it’s over a specific disagreement that we’re having alot lately, specifically nookie.  For the past two weeks, I have been forced out of my slumber by my begging husband around the 4:30am time of NIGHT.  Pay attention, I consider this time to be still NIGHT, as in for rest.  MB considers it MORNING and is ready for a little good morning action. Personally, if I’m having sex at 4am, it’s because I haven’t been to sleep yet from the day before.  Since I’m not in college anymore, I don’t party like that any longer so that’s NOT the case.  I’ve explained time and time again that at 4:30am I’m not able to wake up enough for THAT and TBH, I don’t really want to try.  So maybe it’s sad that I prefer sleep to sex but then again, a couple weeks ago, I told someone that I might be willing to give up sex if I could have daily foot massages instead.

Sleep has become a priority to me lately.  Partly because of the insomnia I went through over the summer; partly because I’m SO tired lately.

This morning I told him that he could do what he wanted……………. just don’t wake me up.

And Out of the Rain… A Miracle

Friday night while Monkey Butt went to get the kids, I went to the grocery store.  Halfway through the frozen foods department, I heard thunder.  Through the windows at the end of the aisle, I could see rain pouring out of the dark sky.  I was pissed.  I had driven the car.  The teeny tiny sports car with the little trunk is not the best choice for grocery shopping but my SUV is safer for the kids so I’d agreed to the swap.  Looking at that rain and my sandals, I was not happy.  I lingered over the meat department and browsed sections I rarely give a glance in an unsuccessful attempt to ride the storm out.  I glared out the windows while I stood in the check-out line.  Once out the door, the sidewalks and buggy ramps were blocked by people who had moved their vehicles to the front door canopy to load their purchases.  I could not get the buggy off the sidewalk and was in no hurry so I waited…. impatiently.  Just as the blocking vehicle closest to me pulled into traffic, I looked up to see my husband pulling through the puddles.  When I wasn’t at home, he drove the couple extra blocks to the supermarket to assist me in loading the groceries.  As I stood under the back gate (what do you call those doors?)  out of the rain, with Monkey Butt getting soaked, we put the groceries in the SUV.  I realized…. he has his moments…. and this one took the cake.

Bringing Home the Bacon

Okay so really it’s more like pressed ham but the good news is that I’M WORKING AGAIN.  It is exciting to wake up knowing that I have something to do today other than laundry.  (Why is it that even when laundry was all I had to do all day I couldn’t catch up?  It’s like the post office.  The laundry never stops.)  I have a reason to shower daily again.  I can wear clothing that wasn’t manufactured by Hanes.  I’M WEARING MAKEUP AGAIN.

Back to the job, I’m proofreading again.  (Who would have ever thought that I’d end up on THAT career path?)  However, this time I’m proofing ad copy at a publishing company rather than audit reports and tax files.  I have a large office in a loverly shade of light yellow but it’s most important feature is

THE DOOR!

At my last job, internal offices did not have doors but rather arched “openings” to encourage more interaction.  Personally I think it was so they could make sure you were working at all times.  At the job before that, my office had 4 doors!  Instead of privacy, the doors ensured my office was a central hub of the office, more of an busy intersection feel than a productive place to work.  It’s rather sad that I’m so excited over a simple door moreso than the 100% employer paid health insurance or the 401k both of which start immediately with no waiting period.  But I’m a simple girl who appreciates the simple things in life, which this week is a DOOR!