Another gem from my hometown newspaper, a resident of Mayberry reported that his PONDWATER had been stolen. yes, my friends, PONDWATER. The story goes on to say that, the day before, the resident had observed that his pond was full of water. However, the next day the resident discovered a hole in his fence and the waterlevel in the pond was down almost 4 feet. WHAT? Who steals PONDWATER? and how? Wouldn’t that require a pump and a large tank? Cmon if it were something that you could run a combustible engine on maybe I’d understand… but PONDWATER? EWWWWW Has anyone checked with the local fire department?
You’ll Shoot Your Eye Out
In my weekly reading of the hometown tabloid/newspaper, I ran across an article about a robbery. These very creative pirates could not fit all of their plunder into their vehicle so they hooked their victim’s boat to their haul and piled the boat high with additional goods. Of course, Mayberry’s version of Mark Twain had to detail the entire list of items that were confiscated by deputies once the pirates were busted on the highway with microwaves and TV’s in the back of a john boat. Out of the rather lengthy list of plunder, weapons, jewelry, and tools, several items jumped at me, most notably a pair of rubber boots and a Red Rider BB gun. And there it is people. This miscreant Ralphie was clearly acting out because of the trauma of a deprived Christmas present.
